Update

Time for an update!

It has been a LONG time since I've posted anything.

In the past five months we've experienced joy at finding out we were pregnant to sorrow at the stillborn birth of our daughter Joanna on November 25, 2015. I have been on maternity leave recovering since then.

We did say yes to our first profile review after saying no twice while we were still pregnant. We felt our first sting of rejection by being passed over by a birthmom a week ago. We really are ok and are leaning on God to help us through and keeping faith that our little bundle of joy will come along in His time.

The kids are doing well. They knew we were expecting and are grieving as well. They were excited, especially Jackson, at the aspect of having a little brother or sister in April.

Tonight we submitted our first grant application to Both Hands. Please take a look at their ministry: Both Hands  from their website: "Both Hands helps families fundraise for their adoptions. A family gathers a team of volunteers and Both Hands coaches them to coordinate a service project fixing up a widow's home.The family and their team send letters to raise sponsorship for their day of service. The funds raised help an orphan be adopted into a forever family!"

We are now looking to separately applying to Lifesong. Their ministry is located here: LifeSong

We have to wait to apply to HANDinHAND until after February 1st of the new year. 

Here are some updated pictures! Yes this was our pregnancy announcement. It's still one of my favorite photos! Back to being PAPER PREGNANT!

Mourning a New.

Thank you Choosing Hope for sharing. This is beautiful and another way to show what our families and friends will (are) be going through. Adoption itself not just the process is hard. God bless the families in this world who have met their match and are mourning goodbyes, hellos and forging bonds that will last a lifetime. It's not something that happens overnight. Time heals no pain only eases it. (Posting from my phone so the blue link may not pop up.)

http://adoption.com/our-placement-story 

No news is good news.

Not much to report. We're still waiting. Which I've come to accept as ok but if a baby comes tomorrow that would be great! 

I've printed off more grant applications. Starting with 5. One is a matching grant which means they will match what we raise up to a certain amount. 

Also I've been researching a few fundraisers to be done locally. Once I get confirmation from these companies, I will share! 

So exciting!

The Ramblings of a Heavy Hearted Waiting Momma.

My heart is very heavy tonight.  This is not a personal attack or business. These are my feelings, this is our situation as we are delving deeper into adoption.

I knew getting started that this wouldn't be easy and it would be testing and it would be very hard. I know it will ebb and flow. We've been "active" for 5+ months and not once has our profile been requested for view. I know. That's not a long time. I know. I shouldn't get down and I'm not typically a down person but I need some guidance and reinforcement.
Another consulting agency was recommended to us a couple months ago by our agency to help get our names "out there" and we turned it down knowing that God would take care of us and everything in His time. That has been our motto from the get go.

"Isaiah 43:5 Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west."

This should be the end of my update right?

Well it's not.

I looked into this consulting agency months ago and together Rob and I said we should save our funds and not explore this route. Here is the cost break down from the application:

$3,630.00  Consulting, Profile, and Agency Paperwork Preparation Package* (includes consulting, family profile service, and agency paperwork preparation service for agencies on CAC’s recommended agency list)
$2,880.00  Consulting and Profile Package* (includes consulting and family profile service)
$2,330.00  Consulting Package Only*
$1,730.00  Consulting Package Only for Returning Families* (only available to former CAC clients)
$1,100.00  Do It Yourself Consulting Packet (includes confidential adoptive parent packet and five business days of limited consulting services)
$800.00  Family Profile Service Only (includes creative layout, design, picture selection, and written narrative)
$275.00  Family Profile Update Fee (only available to former CAC clients, does not include major design change)
$125.00  Expedited Profile Service Add-On
 $125.00  Profile Review Service (includes feedback, suggestions on layout, design, picture selection, and narrative)
$125.00  Hourly Consultation (1½ hour phone/face-to-face consultation applied to total package price if services started within 30 days)
*These packages include services for 18 months. The family may extend services for an additional six (6) months on the same adoption for $750.00

Proverbs 16:9 A man makes a plan in his heart, but God directs his path.

The highlighted package is the one we would need to purchase if we requested their assistance. One we don't have the funds to cover the cost. Two we don't have the funds to adopt "debt free" like we planned. Three expenses have come up that are and were unexpected and have completely stopped our adoption fund progress. So you can see my heart is heavy.

Rob is working all the overtime he can to help cover our cost of living plus trying hard to add to our adoption account PLUS trying to make some time so that when the baby comes he will be able to take time off work. We haven't seen him all that much except for on Sundays we get him for about 6 or 7 hours.
It's worth it. I know it's worth it.

I haven't been able to be garage sale ready because my two at home children have been acting like polar opposites not getting along and Rob is working so no time, no place.

Psalm 116:5, 7 God is gracious – it is He who makes things right, our most compassionate God… I said to myself, “Relax and rest. God has showered you with blessings."

SO here's what I'm asking, pray for us. That's all I'm asking. Pray for our patience and our knowing that He will in His time. I know that many of you have much more serious things in your lives going on that require God's attention and trust me I feel down right guilty asking for prayer right now when I know this information. I even have worse things going on right now but this adoption (or lack their of) is weighing the heaviest and has been for the last month and two weeks. I love my God and I know that He will provide in His time. My God is powerful and my family is strong in his love, guidance and faith.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Thank you. Thank you all for your support and love.

It's been pretty quiet around here. We've returned from vacation and are gearing up for garage sales. Fundraising away. I've got some other leads regarding fundraising and can't wait to get started.

Update: Prayers appreciated as we're applying to another agency. They are very similar to Choosing Hope. We are working with both agencies and both agencies have worked together prior to us. From Special Angels Adoption: "We help adoption agencies or families who wish to place a special needs baby or toddler and sometimes older children for adoption, find experienced and loving adoptive families." Special Needs aren't special needs in our eyes. We will be presented as a case by case situation. Meaning we can say yes or no depending on the situation. Just like with Choosing Hope. From the website: "You must be open to and educated about at least one special needs a child might be born with such as: congenital syndromes, blindness, deafness, missing or deformed limbs, other physical deformities, respiratory difficulties, heart defects, cerebral palsy, dwarfism, digestive tract problems, G-tube, wheelchair bound, significant development delays, significant physical delays, large exposure to drugs or alcohol, genetic mental health problems, cleft lip and palate, club foot, HIV, hepatitis, hormone deficiencies, uncorrectable medical condition, surgeries needed, preemie, mute or speech delayed, medically fragile, down syndrome, turners syndrome, heart issues, chromosomal issues, drug addiction, fetal alcohol syndrome, etc".

Have a blessed day.

Adopt Together!

We are live! Adopt Together approved our profile this morning:
Go check it out!!

Stokes' Adopt Together Profile

or

http://adopttogether.org/stokesfamily 

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day 

From Our Family to Yours!

Please say a prayer for birth mothers, our adoptive waiting mothers, mothers who are struggling to become mothers, mothers who have lost, those who have lost their mothers, mothers who are trying to make ends meet, new mothers and mothers who are simply mothers. 

We love you all.

Where's My Piggy Bank?? No. Seriously.

Well what can I say? As the school year comes to and end (in 2.5 weeks) I find myself getting a little stir crazy!

We are completely home study approved. Got the letter back in January.

Now we are the waiting! Waiting for an expectant mother who will fall in love with us and us with her.

Time to put 100% of my focus on my family and our adoption, which means- PRAYING, fundraising, applying to grants (must get ink and stamps!), PRAYING and more PRAYING! These applications are filled out the old fashioned way. Pen, paper, stamps, POST OFFICE? What's that? Ha!

My brain went wondering this evening what if we get the call tonight? We would have to turn the situation down as we have to have the money up front. We've had to make a big purchase in the last month that wasn't expected for another two years. Our old van bit the dust so we had to purchase a new one. Don't worry our adoption fund was not touched! This was straight out of our savings account. This has changed our ability to save some as we now have a higher car payment. BOO!

In talks with our agency we could expedite the adoption process by applying to other agencies including out of state agencies. So goes the trek into more uncharted territory. What I found is that God is my rock. He put us in our place and for now we are not expanding our options. We can't afford to apply to the two other agencies we are interested in. Choosing Hope is one of a kind. They (and now I) understand the cost of adoption can sky rocket with little fees here and there. Just to apply to one agency was $250. Once approved we would then have to pay the step 1 (of 4) agency fee of $3,750 upfront before they would even talk to us. We are blessed to have our home study completed so that would save us $1,500-$4,000 depending on which agency was selected. Other agencies have luxury fees of "unlimited emails, phone calls, profile assembly and review" etc. for a steal at $4,000. The cheapest plan which included limited email and one phone call a month was $250, otherwise a standard fee of $60 per email and $50 per hour phone call... Not including the cost of the adoption itself, legal fees, court fees, mother fees, medical, travel and more. WOAH! Right?
**edit- not all agencies have such itemized fees! Each agency is different therefore charges differently. Please investigate multiple options and find what works for you! 
Thank you Choosing Hope. That's all I have to say. I understand that other agencies must make ends meet and must pay employees but I was humbled and thankful for our agency. God Bless them for without them I'm not sure we would be able to consider this.

So back to my rambling... I have now discovered that to be sure we cover all costs, what we initially thought would be $10,000 could potentially and realistically being over $24,000. That's a lot of money and yet very little. 

How much is a life worth to you? 

Exactly. 

Priceless. 

Keep an eye out! This crazy Mama is changing things up and will be applying to grants, looking into Crowdfunding through Adopt Together, checking out BothHands.org, Lifesong, HandinHand as well as reading books by Julie Gumm. Off I go!

Love to all! Happy Thursday and God Bless!

Snow day

Today is a snow day for our district so I have a few minutes in the chaos to update. 

Our homestudy has been finalized and we have the official letter. So what does this mean? It means that we are officially in the game. We have been approved by the state and our agency as a couple of sane, competent and capable parents. 😜 

Now what? We'll we were waiting before and now we continue to wait. 

I need to get to the office supply store this weekend before they close so they can lighten and print our profile book so that it can be sent out to birthmothers. Once that is done there is truly nothing left to do but pray and wait. We thank you for supporting and please stay warm. ❤️❤️❤️