Update

Still not much to update- posted on our Facebook page: Struggling tonight- Already the love that I have for this child is bountiful and I have no idea if he is a he or she is a she. I don't know if he and/or she has even been conceived. We are waiting patiently relying heavily on God. Our home study is stalled due to one form from the state. So we sit and we wait some more waiting for a signature. We don't know and I'm getting tired of answering the same question with the same answer. We don't know how much longer we have to wait- so we'll keep practicing our waiting resting bodies and praying for our birth family to be some where out there in America. Never have I ever loved and hated my mailbox...

Home studying

We met again with the social worker Friday evening.  Rob and I currently don't have any more paper work to do! We finished our interview and our large family assessment that night. In the state of Ohio, if you have more than two children, your family is considered large. This was a repeat of our first interview. Questions regarding support systems, our kids' feelings, and other repetitive information. 

For our next visit we need to fill out our questionaires regarding the three books we read. Saturday we go to a culture class downtown. I better have a pumpkin spiced caffeinated beverage in hand to make it from 9am-noon. Three other couples from our agency and our social worker's agency will be attending. It will be neat to meet them and extend our network. 

Our next meeting is a week from this Friday, we will complete our last survey. From my understanding, this will be a child survey regarding in detail what child/children we will consider! Yay! 

I haven't had time over the past week to catch up on crocheting. Bug-a-Boo hasn't been well. He's 90% today and should be back to 100% tomorrow. Now we're stalking Lydia's every move praying she doesn't catch it as her Halloween party is Friday and trick or treat is Saturday evening. Rob has been putting in countless hours cutting and sewing her costume. Can you take a guess what she has requested to be?  

New beginnings.

With little deliberation we've made another big step in The Stokes household. We transferring our memberships to First Christian Church. We finally feel welcome and at home at church again. I can't speak for Rob but I look forward to Sundays again. It's also nice to sit with our family again and see friends from our old church and friends from work and school who have also made a switch or have always been there. I enjoy the services although sometimes I wonder am I at church or at a theatre performance. I don't feel myself counting down the minutes to the sermon being over or doodling to make it through. The kids are super happy and can't wait to see their church friends every week. They are more excited than we are. The Story is so moving and easy to read/understand. I invite you to come check it out for yourself 11am Sunday mornings we sit in the back on the right.  Come say hi or even sit with us!

Another new tonight- in our evening prayers we started praying for our birth mom and dad as well as our baby. It just felt comfortable and "right".  

Now, now don't get all excited. We are still working on our home study. We should have all our paperwork and books read by Friday when the social worker returns. We have not been placed on the wait list and don't even know if our baby is in the works yet. We're just praying that God will guide someone to us. We're praying mom and dad are healthy and happy even though they will be facing uncertain times, questions, concerns and big decisions. We are praying for God's grace and comfort as they or she makes their decisions. We pray she knows that we love her and her choices regardless of what they might be. We pray that she is strong in mind and spirit. Let her know that we support her and care for her even if she changes her mind 100 times. She is loved even though she may or may not feel loved herself. We are with her in spirit. We are praying for her every night that God will lead her to us and let her know that she will always be in our thoughts and prayers. We are thankful for her and her precious gift she is choosing to give us in peace and confidence. 

My heart is happy tonight and I feel at peace. I'm hoping this feeling lasts.  It's something that our new church and God has brought over me. I may not always feel this way by I do now and I'm thankful for each and every second it sticks around.  Happy Sunday everyone. I pray your week is peaceful and content as well.

Staying busy!

Time for an update! We had our second meeting with the social worker last Friday. She interviewed the kids and then Rob and me separately. She asked us questions about our past, family, and discipline beliefs/practices. Nothing too intense. She'll return a week from Friday for some more interviews! So much talking for me to do! Rob on the other hand seems to find this part easy. 

Tomorrow night we have our fire audit so Rob has been running through the house checking and double checking things to make sure everything is complete and where it needs to be. Escape routes are hung by the wall so all can see. The fire extinguisher is in the kitchen away from the stove. There are no open wires or any dangling. There are fifty million fire alarms and carbon monoxide alarms affixed though out the house. Shew! (Just kidding. We've had that all done for months!!) 

We go to see the Dr. to get our paperwork filled out before Friday the 17th. Rob is taking all the animals to the vet a week from Friday to get their shots up to date and copies of their paperwork. Friday he has to head to the Health Dept. to get copies of the kids' birth certificates and go to his Mom's to get his. 

We're reading through the text that was given to us and have to schedule a class with Job and Family Services. 

No much more then we'll be done and put on a waiting list! 

We've been trying to come up with some ways to raise some funds.  Any ideas are welcome! Right now I've been crocheting like a made woman selling scarves, headbands and warmers. If interested check out our website on Facebook: stuff4stokes or our Instagram: @stuff4stokes. We'd appreciate the business!

Or if you don't need any head gear feel free to check out our gofundme site: www.gofundme.com/d067w0 

Have an amazing weekend! (It's a three day one here! Woohoo!!)

The water's fine.

Not much to report since I last updated but I figure I better tell you all what little we know. 

We had our water tested on Wednesday of last week. We receive the results today in the mail however Miss Rita was kind enough to call us on Friday and let us know that our water is safe. That's another check off the list. I go to get my background check completed and submitted on Friday. Those go directly to the agency which is nice. We don't have to worry about another form. 

I began our required reading. "Dear Birthmother" was extremely insightful and opened my eyes up to some misconceptions about adoption. Very interesting and quick read if you have nothing to do and are interested in the journey we are taking. 

I'm currently a couple chapters into the next read "The Spirit of Adoption" this one is not holding my attention like the other so I'm finding it difficult to read and am easily distracted. It could just be the first couple chapters. Time to put my teacher advice to work and push through. 

Other than that it has been pretty quiet around our house. The social worker comes back on Friday to talk to all of us individually. We have a few things to schedule this week that I would normally just go ahead and do however Rob's schedule is filling up so I don't want to schedule audits without him being available. We'll talk tonight- before he heads back into work for his second shift of the day. 

Have an amazing week and God Bless! 

❤️

Friday was smooth sailing.

Friday took forever to get here- which was good and bad but I'm sitting here in a clean organized house which is nice!

Our social worker showed up and we immediately got to work. Handed over copies of our drivers licenses, Auto and health insurance, social security cards for all of us, birth and death certificates and our financial report. Then we started answering questions that when not filled in-is a 12 page report.  We had to explain our house, our relationship, our religion, our families and more. We didn't get finished that's for sure. Next visit she's going to interview us separately. 

Once we found a stopping point she took a tour of the house. All is well. We have two more visits after this then we'll be able to wrap things up. Our next visit is scheduled for October 3. She wanted to meet this Friday and we could have but Rob's brother is coming in town with his wife and we wanted to make time for them.

Tuesday our required reading arrives from amazon-3 books and Wednesday the health department comes to test our water. Rob will be calling a fire safety inspector to run the fire audit. Rob, the kids and I need to get health physicals done, I have to get the animal records, Rob and I have state and FBI background checks to complete, and we have to attend a half day class taught by Job and Family services. That may be it but I'm sure I forgot something. 

Have an amazing week!

Sunday Mornings are the Best Mornings!

I had a post almost completed however I x'd out to find a picture and came back to find it gone so I will try my best to recreate:

This morning started a 30 week walk through the Bible using the book study, "The Story". The youth in the church are following along too. So amazing! I've never experienced anything like this before. To have talks with my kids and study right along with them. We're starting in Genesis and I'll be honest, I didn't do my homework which was to read the first chapter of "The Story" but let me tell you this week I want to! It was a moving and intense service. He shared of the creation of this earth- the size of our universe, Craig also spoke of the serpent and how it tempted Eve to the fruit which led to her sharing with Adam and our ability to experience and see sin. 

If I can find the clip from this morning I will be sharing it on here for it was interesting and thought provoking. I can't wait for next week and neither can my kids.

I am going some where with this is after a moving sermon came the song. The one song that breaks me to pieces when I hear it, you know the one, the one for which our daughter is named: 

By the "Grace" of God, I made it through without sobbing like a baby just a couple tears. It was an amazing morning and like I said before I can't wait until next week. I always feel so happy and stress free when I leave that building. A fresh start to the week. 

After church we headed downtown for Choosing Hope's open house which was awesome! We got to see many people and meet our social worker. We also received our daunting next packet containing what the social worker will be checking during our audits. Yes. There's more than one. We also set a date. Our first meeting with the social worker coming to explore, evaluate and chat is at 6 on Friday evening. Prayers appreciated. 

The social worker and her husband have adopted many times so she knows our fears and concerns as we start our journey. I guess you wouldn't say we were starting our journey anymore, we're kind of in the thick of things. I'll be working hard this week along with my mom and dad who have answered our cries for help this week to prepare for Friday. 

Anyone-- feel free to stop by and pick up some trimmers or a broom. Just don't judge. No judging. As for our house we work to keep a judgment free zone- I need that as a sign!!!!

Moving right along- I'm loving this! (and this man!)

Blessings for a wonderful week! Find the positive in what you're going through and be thankful because there are many more in this world who are in far worse situations. 

Love- 

It's a Good Morning

Sometime this week we will get a phone call! Time to really kick it into gear. Rob, my mom, dad, myself and even the kids have been working around the house- enjoying the weather. We've been clearing the fences and working in the yard mostly for ourselves yet we know in the back of our heads the social worker would be calling soon. 

Rob and I have been told we aren't going to be under a white glove inspection however aside from that we're not sure what to expect. 

Panic is setting in a little because of the judgement time is coming up and most of you know I'm very type A personality like to know what's expected and here we go into the unexpected. Prayers are welcomed to help calm anxiety. Yes I'm using my Young Living Essential Oils and they are helping to keep me calm. 

Here's a snapshot of the email we received this morning: 

Waiting- waiting- Patience- Waiting- waiting. Dear Lord give me some patience because we're only just beginning.

Baby woes. This is the longest we've gone without hearing from the agency. I know they have jobs and lives too but sometimes there's  construction or a detour. We've hit that mark in the road. Time to wait and check my email 50 or more times a day. Now folks I will admit- we have not had to wait. The first wait was a month for the adoption agency to be approved and receive a signature from Job and Family services. The second is now. Waiting for the social worker to call so we can set up our first meeting.

This waiting is nothing compared to a pregnancy because you are at the mercy of another person through out this entire process and obviously with a pregnancy you know once 40 weeks is up- the kid gets evicted.

So the waiting begins. I'm really ok with it the more I think about it. I just keep reminding myself, all in His time. 

If you're interested our agency is having an open house this Sunday. Below is the flyer. 

House keeping services wanted! (Or a gift card...)

Here we go again.

 Off went the Ohio Job and Family Services application, our self studies and a $50 non refundable check plus $5.95 in postage. To say I'm excited is an understatement. 

Next stop? We receive another large packet of papers, the executive director places a call to the social worker and we receive a call from the social worker to set up a time to visit. To say I've turned into a mad woman is an understatement. What to expect? I don't know. I'm thinking of bringing in a cleaning lady to help me get through this. Can anyone recommend a great, reasonably priced service? Seriously. 

I did receive a call from the Director the night before last. She had been praying and has asked us to change our minds about proceeding with a closed adoption. She said that typically closed adoptions were for situations that were not positive. She asked for us to pray and reconsider a semi-open adoptions and consider allowing the birth mother to receive letters and photos. I put the brakes on right away. What if one day she shows up on my door step demanding to see my child? I was quickly reassured that would not be a possibility. We would mail the letters back to the agency and the agency would send them to the birthmother. What if the agency dissolves? Again, quick with an answer- our files would be passed along to another reputable agency. That being said, we're praying for guidance as we may be changing our course and completing a semi open adoption instead of closed. We have yet to learn a lot. 

Happy Tuesday. 

Application Status: Accepted.

Yahoo! Praise Him! I checked my email tonight and found a surprise hiding in my gmail account. A lovely letter from Mrs. Angela informing us of our application acceptance! We are officially working with Choosing Hope Adoptions in Ohio! With this email we also received our next task.

Side note: As I've only seen bits and pieces of The Amazing Race or Survivor I feel like this is mimicking the show. In a stern voice "So you've completed task one, you've made it this far. Here's your next challenge. It's still early in the race folks. Don't get discouraged now!" Oh we so are not discouraged well maybe a little with funding but we'll get there!

Our next step. Complete the adoption application for Ohio Job and Family Services. Done.
AND complete a self study the first step to starting our home study. 

Oh boy! That was tough! I am glad to report at of 2:30am and having started it at 10:15pm mine is done. Now to motivate Rob to get his done.... Hmmmm.  How to motivate Rob? I'll have to think of something.


Please consider helping us on our journey and making a donations to our gofundme account: www.gofundme.com/d067w0

Short Update. Now We Wait Some More.

Just rereading through the emails from the agency. I forgot to add this part. Now we wait. The agency has up to thirty days to approve or deny our application in writing through the post.
Today also happened to be the first day of school with students. It was challenging but the kids still seemed to have fun. Monkey Tail said school rocks ands this is the best year ever. Bug-A-Boo had fun with Nana and Papa going to the barn to play with the animals and playing with toys all day. Tomorrow he returns to his best friend- now he's super excited!
Bed early tonight. We had a long day and tomorrow we're back to it.

Pre-Application Update and Q&A

Well---- our pre-application is on its way to the adoption agency! I metered it and sent it on its merry way. According to the postal paper it should arrive on Tuesday.

Yesterday I posted the blog update to Facebook and asked anyone if they had any questions about our adoption. Not many responded so either we're doing a great job at keeping everyone informed or no one cares. Ha!

Ok so yes Brian we were married in 2004 and not 2014 and I fixed that in the previous post.

Miss Jess asked if we had any names in mind and do we get to name the baby? No names in mind we are really far from delivery. We have yet to be accepted by the agency, apply for adoption, and start our home study. That is if everything goes right with our home study. Home studies take 3-4 months to complete. It's a lot of paperwork, inspections, interviews with a social worker, doctors appointments for all of us and much more. Adoption is all about testing our patience. (I keep reminding myself "in God's time"). I'm praying the only thing that will hold our home study up is the kids' well checks which can't be done until December. Once our homestudy is complete then we wait to be matched with a birth mother.

Do we get to name the baby? Very much so yes. We are adopting a newborn. The birth certificate will have the name we choose written on it, (name) Stokes. Once the baby is born, he or she is 99% ours. The birth mother, in the state of Ohio, has 72 hours to change her mind. Once that time is lapsed the baby comes home with us forever.

Those minutes, 4,200 to be exact, are the most crucial in every way. Those minutes would be the time when we rely the most on God. We have a friend, who with twelve hours remaining in that 72 hour time period, the birth mother changed her mind and decided to keep her baby. Talk about heart breaking however I know I could never give up my own child so my heart goes out to mothers who chose to give their child up for adoption. It is not easy for any one. Thank you birth moms and dads for allowing our dreams to come true. 

Who Are The Stokes?

Allow me to introduce, The Stokes.
Rob and I met in high school way back in 1999. Rob didn't like me too much as first he thought I was snobby and stuck up. (He'll tell you this, the stinker.) I thought he was cute but I was not interested at the time and he was more interested in sports and other girls. Then came a weekend in the spring, I had nothing to do and Rob invited me out with a group of friends. Little did I know that everyone had bailed on us. We went ahead to dinner and a movie then he took me home. He will tell you he fell in love with me that night. He's so sweet kind and caring. We continued to see each other through high school and after graduation in 2000.
Rob is an amazing athlete and has won many high school and college awards in the sports he played. He played college football for two years and both years his team went to the championships. I could be found on the sidelines supporting and cheering him on. People often ask me if I like football and I will say only when I watch Rob play.
I was and still am very active in 4-H, having grown up on a farm around animals. I was a dancer, performer, singer and Girl Scout growing up and it seems that Miss Monkey Tail is following in my foot steps. All decided on her own. All we do is ask. (She's already wrestled too!)
In the fall of 2002 Rob proposed to me. I (obviously) said yes. I don't remember much of the proposal except it happened at the local movie theatre before the movie we were seeing was set to begin. Shortly after we got engaged, Rob went on a missions trip with his Uncle and family to Africa and I changed colleges and started at Bowling Green State University. Life was hard but we worked together to see it through.
Upon his return we set a wedding date, July 3, 2004. Three months before we were to marry Rob became a Corrections Officer and moved to Kenton, Ohio. Kenton was the half way point between college and Rob's work. It was an hour and twenty minutes for us to drive in opposite directions on a daily basis. Once married, we moved in together. I remember Rob having to take on extra shifts to cover the rising gas prices. $2.25 a gallon was expensive on one paycheck at the time. I remember being stressed all the time because school was not as easy as I thought it would be however I knew I could not give up.
In the spring of 2006, I graduated .8 of a point away from graduating with honors. Now that I was done and had a Bachelors of Science in Hearing Impaired Education I was ready to take on the world and begin the job hunt. We moved back to our hometown as it was a closer drive for Rob and I began searching for jobs. Do you know how difficult it was to find a job in Ohio in Hearing Impaired Education? It didn't exist. Luckily, special education was in there somewhere and I was hired on in July at our local Educational Service Center to open a new unit dedicated to helping children with Autism Spectrum Disorder learn in a public school setting. Wow! That first year of teaching was rough but as I learned and worked with staff and parents, I got into the groove and really enjoyed my job.
In the fall of 2006 not only was I in my first year of teaching but we also bought our house in our Alma Mater's school district. We moved in over Thanksgiving break and got things settled in over Christmas Break. Our home is in the township on two acres with a detached two car garage and a barn. In the back yard is a play set, and numerous toys. We eat outside during the summer so picnic tables are a must! In side the home we have a large living room, with a toy room attached, a dining room, kitchen, laundry area downstairs full bath and office. Upstairs are three bedrooms, a full bath and laundry area.
Starting my second year of teaching I became pregnant with Monkey Tail. We had a pretty uneventful pregnancy up until the end. (Read about that in the other blog post.) Rob and I couldn't believe how much one little girl could change our loves for the better. She is and was so precious. She is so smart and happy. I am so lucky to be her mother. Her amber brown eyes, gift of the gab and patience with her brother is a sight to behold. Every day she teaches me something new.
Then came Grace. Our sweet Angel who reaffirmed and strengthened our beliefs in our God. I explained in the last post so I won't go into details here. She is special and it was a gift to feel her grow and live inside me.
Fourth year of teaching began and I was already pregnant with Bug-a-Boo. Little boy was a blessing to us after loosing Grace. He is also a challenge. My mom says he is all boy and boy is he! The child has no fears and has already had us in the ER with bumps, cuts and bruises. We're beginning to think we should have named him Dare Devil. I don't think there's anything this child won't do except eat bread. He doesn't care for bread. Ha! Our sweet brown and blue eyed, blonde haired boy, so curious and so loving.
The ESC was running into issues that would not be easy to recover from and a job opening appeared in the school district Rob and I lived in so I took a leap and was hired by the best district I dreamed of working in, our Alma Mater.  I am a middle school special education teacher.
Rob also took on a new job at the prison that allows him to be home at nights and have three day weekends. He's a workshop specialist and over sees many jobs at the prison. I can tell by his excitement he loves his job and it's nice to see him grow in his profession.  He has been talking of going back to school online to finish his college degree in business so that he can continue to climb the workforce ladder and I whole- heartedly support him. 

Why are we adopting??!!

Hello and welcome! Adoption, YAY! Beginning this journey has been exciting! My husband and I will be submitting our pre-application to the adoption agency early in the coming week. We pray we are able to work with the Choosing Hope Adoption Agency in Springfield, Ohio.
Rob and I have always talked about adopting however we always spoke of it as a dream. We never realized our dreams could come true or that we will be blessed with another sweet and precious newborn baby boy or girl. Here is how Rob and I came about our decision:
It all started with my health. When I was pregnant with my 6 year old daughter, I developed Pre-Eclampsia and had to be rushed to the hospital for an induction. Thank God Monkey Tail, as we lovingly call her, was only three days early. She was born with no health complications.  She was a perfect little baby, she slept and was easy going. She is now 6! Monkey Tail is big into Disney Princesses,  Girl Scouts and is about to begin FIRST grade! I am so lucky to teach in the same school my daughter attends as it is a blessing to watch her learn from a distance and foster friendships that may last a lifetime.
Not long after Lydia turned one, we found out we were going to have another baby! Surprise! We were nervous but excited. We found out a few days before Christmas of 2009, through what was supposed to be our gender identifying ultrasound that our daughter had a terminal birth defect called Anencephaly. In Layman's terms, her brain did not develop. Grace was born and died on January 17, 2010. She lived a short time here on Earth yet is living forever in our hearts. We talk to our children about her and share (what's age appropriate) her story.
In the summer of 2010 we nervously discovered once again we were expecting. I was considered  a high risk pregnancy due to my previous experiences. This was very scary as we went to weekly ultrasounds to make sure our coming baby was happy, healthy and had a full brain. Our odds of having another child with Anencephaly rose tremendously as we had already had Grace. Luckily Rob's and my fears were cleared at our 18 week ultrasound as we were expecting a healthy baby boy! My body however was not healthy enough to sustain another full term pregnancy. I developed Pre-Eclampsia early on and was placed on bed rest a few days shy of the start of my third trimester. At our 35 week ultrasound it was discovered that our Bug-a-Boo had developed a heart arithmia, my Pre-Eclampsia was worsening and I was measuring beyond full term due to an increase in amniotic fluid. So here we go again, we were induced and Bug-A-Boo was brought into this world as a preemie. His heart arithmia cleared up and he is a beautiful, caring yet rough and tumble three year old BOY! Bug-a-Boo loves Disney, the Rescue Bots and playing outside.
We also strongly believe that there are alternatives to abortion and we hope that we can save a life and offer a loving, supportive and caring home to a child who really doesn't have a choice in the matter. Every child deserves unconditional love and let me tell you, we've got it!
These are our concerns, my body and mind have decided that we are not going to have anymore children however we can adopt! Yay! Our dreams of having a larger family can still be fulfilled!
God is good and can move mountains, all in His time.

Please consider helping our out on our journey. Here is the link to our gofundme page: Stokes' GoFundMe site.   

Note-

Please be kind- I am new to blogging in a newer generation. The last time I actively blogged was with Xanga in the early 2000's. Also I am obviously not an English teacher...