Unexpected

Back in business. My hopes are to update every Saturday. Now seems to be a good time. The house is clean. The laundry is spinning. The dishwasher is? Well for lack of better words... washing.

I feel.

I feel like a mom on that reality show that was on a while ago? Named... "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".  Oooo I know you watched it! I know it was your guilty pleasure in the middle of the night when you couldn't sleep and weird TLC shows called your name. I know you watched it! I still laugh at the thought then it dawned on me today.

That's us.

That's us as adopting waiting mothers and fathers.

We don't know we're pregnant then we get this phone call out of the blue... AND BAM! PREGNANT!!! We're given information that we can only share with our spouses, agency and a Pediatrician. So we are technically in our first trimester at this point. We have a secret but it's not to share. Yet.

So here we are. We have to make a choice. Together. Just the two of us. Do we consent to having our profile shown to the birthmother or not?

YES!

The jitters take over.
The anxiety takes over.
The blessing you have been waiting for is so close you could nearly reach out and touch him or her.

BAM! less than 24 hours later we're there. We're flown into the second trimester. Here again do we share? Ask for prayers? Do we keep it a surprise? Again it's all up to the waiting mother and the waiting father. So we wait. Waiting can be hours, days or sometimes weeks and months.

We wait. It's what we do. If they offered degrees in "Waiting", adoptive parents would have their Doctorates. (It's a highly sought out degree.)

In our heads as waiting families we wonder and plan 24/7.
Clothes? Bed? Car seat? DO we have it all ready?

Bottles, formula, breastmilk?

Should I call the milk bank?

What about insurance?

Birthmom. Is there anything we can do for her? Are we going to meet her? Oh Lordy be?! Will she like my hair. I have tattoos. Hubby. He has them too. DO you think she'll care? Hubs has a scruffy beard. Hmm I love the scruffy beard. Wait. What if she doesn't? Oh my what if, what if, WHAT IF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Call the agency and ask? No that's silly a decision hasn't been made so we wait. We'll bank and ask that question for later. (*We know. We won't change. Just anxiety drama here rearing it's ugly head.)

Finances. ACK!

Ooo dog gone! I really wished we would have applied for that grant last month. Oh no. We're being prayed for. We're praying. We trust our Lord. It will work out. Together we have an amazing support system who can move mountains. We see it. We feel it. We love it.

See waiting mother here?! I ramble!

We get ANOTHER phone call.

In our experience? Loss.

Birthmother has picked another family. We have a choice. In our family we think from the other family's point of view. We would want people to be happy and excited for us!!! We don't know how long that family has been waiting or their circumstances. We don't know why we weren't chosen but we know through God's grace that our wait is worth the wait. He will provide and when that time comes, it will be indescribable and there will be other families that will be let down.

We call a few days later and ask out of curiosity why we weren't chosen and we're given a very kind answer and move on. God works in amazing ways. I cannot tell you how thrilled I am for the families birthmothers choose. Oh my heart just sings with joy! It's so beautiful and wonderful and yes at the same time I'm disappointed but the joy I feel for those families is overwhelming and makes the disappointment disappear.


Other scenario: We're in second trimester. Birthmother selects us. Oh my Lord. That's it. I can't speak from experience so I won't but please, use your imagination!

I do.

All the time.

We waiting mothers are a prime example of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant".

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?


Happy Saturday all! I pray you have peace and contentment as we say goodbye to the first full week of January and enter a new.

❤️
The Stokes.